


For We are the Ill of the Living

by OverMyFreckledBody



Category: Original Work
Genre: (but not between these two), Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Grief/Mourning, Past Character Death, Pining, Zombie Apocalypse, mention of jealousy, mention of unrequited love, yes i made an au of my own ocs fight me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-20
Updated: 2016-06-20
Packaged: 2018-07-16 07:14:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7257796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OverMyFreckledBody/pseuds/OverMyFreckledBody
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>and nothing hurts more than hearing, "I wish I was with him."</p>
            </blockquote>





	For We are the Ill of the Living

**Author's Note:**

> special thanks to [this wonderful person](http://acharyadiako.tumblr.com/) for being excited about my ocs even though i never posted anything about them. yay! now i have.
> 
> [music](https://listenonrepeat.com/?v=Uv5wF-E9D8Y#Cranberries_Zombie__\(_lyrics_\)), though it has more to do with war than zombies, it still fits because of so.
> 
> Thalia, Eris, and Elias all belong to me.

                “Do you think,” she starts slowly, still staring out over the edge of the building, where the sun is setting over the ruins and wreckage of a city once bustling, and already Thalia just wants to stand up and leave. She knows this is going to go somewhere she doesn’t want it to, but instead of walking off, Thalia only turns toward her. “That it would transfer through saliva?”

 

                Yes. The answer to that is yes, but Thalia keeps her mouth shut and lets Eris go on.

 

                “I should have kissed him.” Thalia closes her eyes and tries to keep herself from bristling at the comment, and Eris continues, “It’s all he’s ever wanted and I wouldn’t have minded, really, and I could have-”

 

                Tired of hearing about _him_ , Thalia interrupts, snaps her gaze back to the dripping light of the sun as she does. “You say that’s what he would have wanted,” she pauses to lick her chapped lips and thinks how she wants to word her next part. Eris is still mourning and Thalia doesn’t blame her for that. She isn’t upset that her companion can’t just snap back to what’s going on unless there’s blood in the air or someone’s mouth. She’s just doesn’t want _him_ to be the reason that Eris ends up not being able to snap back one day, especially after what he sacrificed so she could move on in his place. “But is it… Is it what _you_ would have wanted if he wasn’t bit?”

 

                Eris’ silence is enough of a response and though Thalia already knew the answer, it still relieves her more than it should.

 

                “I don’t think he would have wanted it out of pity, or out of rushed, feigned passion,” she adds before she can stop herself and even if Eris tenses beside her, the truth of the situation burns too much to keep it inside. “He’s never wanted your kiss if he couldn’t have your heart and if you had kissed him, it would only have made his suffering worse.”

 

                Eris is a firecracker; she has a short fuse and when she explodes it is loud and vibrant and memorable. It’s a part of her that Thalia has never tried to make her quiet or soothe, something that she lets rage on when it is awoken. She listens and she watches and she does not tell her that she needs to calm down because she cares enough to understand that it’s just one of the way Eris talks.

 

                So when Thalia looks back over at her, expecting her to be shaking with all that she is containing and ready to spit, she is surprised, frozen even, at the sight of Eris only looking down at her lap. Any other old time she has spoken of Elias, Eris would jerk and fizzle, bubbling up about how could _Thalia_ know what he feels and thinks. About how Thalia even speak of him, or act like he is human just like the two of them. It isn’t like Thalia knows him like Eris does, like the back of her hand, because that’s where his used to lay all the times that they would sit in the grass, talking and looking at the clouds or something along those lines because, of course, Eris and Elias have known each other forever, and Thalia thinking she understands him or what he has gone through or whatever else is apparently a threat to that.

 

                So she doesn’t talk about him if she can help it. She doesn’t even _like_ to talk about him, but sometimes she just needs to because sometimes he hurts and Thalia knows why, even if Eris doesn’t. It’s because she hurts too and she knows they share that same pain. But she knows which battles she can win and which to go around, so instead she talks, if of people, only herself or Eris, herself, because that’s what’s acceptable.

 

                But Eris isn’t a machine and not everything she does will be the same every time, so when she speaks this time, it’s quiet, hesitant, and, “I don’t understand why you never liked him much more than you had to, if you understand him so well.”

 

                There’s no point in lying to her, so Thalia just says back, “It’s because we’ve been after the same thing, I suppose.”

 

                At her words, Eris turns to her, green eyes wide and obvious about the fact that she hadn’t expected that to be the answer out of Thalia’s mouth, so Thalia look back to view they had been admiring before. She shifts her legs beneath her a little, despite the fact she wants to stretch them out and they cramp from being the same position so long with only small, occasional movements.

 

                She wonders if her ratty shoes would fall off if she dangled her legs over the edge of he building as she mutters over the break of silence, “Though I would never need your heart for your kiss if it’s what you needed to fill the gaps he left behind.”

 

                “For my personal comfort,” Eris clarifies, and Thalia nods, fingers spreading over her thighs. She’s so focused on what Eris might say next that she doesn’t pay attention to anything but the shallow breaths she can hear beside her and her eyes practically ignore the falling light from the sun in front of them.

 

                It’s surprisingly teasing, soft and much like their older conversations would be, Elias next to them or not. It’s an ease of the pain that’s been riding with them through their lives after the fall of civilization, and gives her a rush of tranquility that used to only come from Eris’ touch on her hand or arm. “How noble of you.”

 

                So smiles, too, like she assumes Eris is doing, and keeps her tone light even if her meaning isn’t, so she can send back the feeling of contentment, like it’s a shared thing to be passed back and forth as they each use it.

 

                “I suppose.”

**Author's Note:**

> [this is my writing blog](http://overmyfreckledbody.tumblr.com/) though it has a lot of snk things on it, so mind that.
> 
> [here](http://overmyfreckledbody.tumblr.com/post/146225375868/i-was-reading-otherfandom-zombie-au-fic-and-i-got) you can reblog or like a link to the fic!
> 
> Comments and Kudos on this would actually be incredibly appreciated for this, thank you.


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